There was a time when “fun” meant noise.

Crowds, glasses clinking, shots going around, music too loud to hear yourself think.

And when things got quiet, I got restless.

It felt like silence meant something was wrong — like if I wasn’t partying, I was missing out.

Now I realise, I was just scared of feeling empty.

Alcohol made the night louder, but it also made my mind quieter —

until the next morning, when everything I tried to escape came rushing back.

These days, I still love a good drink — but I don’t need it to be happy.

I started to retrain my brain to enjoy the small things again:

• the taste of a morning coffee,
• the sound of rain hitting the roof,
• sitting with someone without checking my phone,
• laughing because something’s actually funny, not because I’m drunk.
• enjoying a cigar with or without a companion.

It wasn’t easy at first.

Happiness without alcohol feels… different.

It’s not as instant, not as loud , but It’s calmer, cleaner, somehow last longer.

Yea, I realised happiness doesn’t have to be a high, like….really get high.

It can be peace instead.

It can be being proud of yourself after a long day.

It can be watching people you care about smile, and knowing you had a small part in that.

Now, I’ve learned to celebrate with or even without it,

To feel joy without needing to blur the edges sometimes,

“You don’t have to numb life to enjoy it.

You just have to learn to be present enough to feel it.”

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